Christmas can be a challenging season for any family, but for those with spirited children, it can feel especially draining. While you may long to enjoy the joy and warmth of the holiday, your mind may already anticipate meltdowns, outbursts, and the endless energy that spirited children bring. This can create a cycle of stress: you're exhausted and frustrated, your child feels it, and the mood spirals down for both of you.
The hustle of holiday shopping, crowded stores, traffic, endless tasks, and family obligations can be overwhelming. When you feel stressed, your child will often feel it too. Here are some practical and compassionate ways to approach the holidays with gratitude and joy while parenting a spirited child.
1. Plan Ahead to Minimize Overwhelm
Start planning early—November is a good time to begin. Outline what you need and want for Christmas, and try to stick to that plan. Some plans may shift, but avoid last-minute changes unless it’s truly necessary. Make two lists: one for essentials like groceries, household needs, and cleaning supplies, and one for gifts. Prioritize these lists by what’s truly necessary, then what’s important, and finally what’s a nice extra. (Be realistic about your budget.)
If your child dislikes loud noises, bright lights, and crowds, consider shopping alone when possible. If you need to take your child along, keep it brief and only buy essentials. Online shopping can be a lifesaver, especially for gifts, reducing the need to navigate busy stores together.
2. Keep Your Child’s Comfort in Mind
While you might see shopping as a way to spend time together or teach responsibility, for a spirited child, stores are often overwhelming. The noise, lights, smells, and chaotic energy can lead to sensory overload and a meltdown. Avoid this by acknowledging your child's needs and making the lead-up to Christmas as smooth and stress-free as possible for both of you.
3. Find Joy in Routine Tasks
While holiday chores like cleaning and decorating can feel daunting, try to approach them with a sense of purpose. Inviting your child to help (even with small tasks) can give your child a sense of stability. Be patient with yourself as well—it's okay if everything isn’t perfect.
4. Create a Calming Environment
Reduce trips to crowded places when possible, and avoid over-scheduling. Keep the atmosphere at home calm and supportive. Acknowledge your child’s feelings when they’re upset, and remind them you’re there to listen. You can also surround yourself with positive visual messages—mugs, fridge magnets, posters, or small decorations with uplifting words that can provide an instant lift. The power of these small, positive reminders is greater than you might think.
5. Remember What Christmas is Truly About
Pause and reflect on what Christmas means to you. It’s a time for family, for connecting, and for the warm feeling of belonging to a place where you’re loved and accepted. Take moments to be kind to yourself, forgiving yourself for not being able to do it all. Even small acts of love and kindness are meaningful.
Extend this kindness to others, too. Be compassionate toward your child during difficult moments, and show patience with your partner, neighbors, and even strangers. Kindness is a state of mind—let go of judgment, and offer a helping hand when you can.
With a little preparation and a lot of kindness, Christmas can be a season of connection and gratitude. Remember, it’s okay to let go of perfection and focus on creating memories filled with love and understanding.